The After Action Report
We are committed to helping veterans and their families thrive in their post-military life. We discuss topics such as employment, finding purpose, identifying who they are “now”, hidden injuries, mental health, wellness practices, relationships, and life after the military. We interview other veterans and community leaders on these and other current topics. Our goal is to engage, empower, and encourage all listeners to be resilient in their post-military life, or life in general.
The After Action Report
Veteran Stories: Triumph and Transformation with Christopher Duke
Could resilience and transformation be the keys to overcoming life's toughest challenges? Join hosts Bren Briggs and Michael Stuart as they connect with Christopher Duke, an Army combat veteran, in this compelling episode of the After Action Report from the Eden Project. Discover how Duke's friendship with Bren, forged during a difficult time in his life, became a beacon of hope and collaboration. Together, they navigate the rough waters of entrepreneurship and the unwavering commitment to helping others, despite personal struggles.
They also delve into peer support programs transformative impact on veterans and first responders, highlighting the importance of mindset, honesty, and accountability in the healing process. Learn about Duke's unexpected pivot to massage therapy and his path toward renewed entrepreneurial success. They wrap up by emphasizing the power of human connection and a positive outlook in achieving wellness. Be inspired by Christopher Duke's journey and join the Eden Project community to connect and grow together.
Well, hello everyone and welcome to the After Action Report, a podcast from the Eden Project. My name is Michael Stewart. I'm just one of the hosts. There's a second one. His name is Bryn Briggs. Everybody say hello. Hello everybody. How are you today? I'm great, that's good. I want to start off first of all by everybody. If you ever want to reach out to us, you can find all you need to know about the Eden Project at our website, eden-projectcom that's E-D-E-N-projectcom, and we have a phone number if you ever want to call or text Bryn. What is?
Speaker 2:that that phone number would be 67, seven, eight, six, three, two, five, three, eight three on the web. So I'm going to go back to the website. Then I'll get that number. Okay, what I've been hearing lately is people forget the dash, the eden dash projectcom, and it takes them to a place in europe um great location not us, though, yep, and even the folks in europe.
Speaker 2:I'm getting, I'm getting, uh, emails from folks in europe that, hey, man, we love what you're doing, we want to be a part of that, and the next sentence down is hey, I love to plant flowers. Yeah, wrong.
Speaker 1:Eden Project. That's not us, that's not Eden Dash. You know. This is where, like you know, in recipes they say just to dash it.
Speaker 2:Right right.
Speaker 1:The to dash of this. The dash is very important in this Eden-projectcom, so reach out to us anytime that you need to. You know, if you've heard some past episodes and something has maybe touched your heart or you shared it with somebody, or you know somebody that can benefit from not only the podcast but from the benefits itself from the Eden Project, reach out to us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know the one thing that I hear on lots of other podcasts, those who are, you know, super successful, which is where we are really close to being right Like us, love us, share us, comment, whatever you got to do, but that's how we keep this message going.
Speaker 1:Exactly. Share it on your social media and you know again. So check out some past episodes if it's your first time tuning into us. So today we're going to continue our message of what we do on most of our shows, which is 99.9% working with mental health, and then occasionally we like to throw in some fun stuff, things that are happening and have guests in. And you brought somebody. Where'd you find this guy? I did.
Speaker 2:He was on the street. He looked like a vet. So I'm thinking, hey man, what are you doing today?
Speaker 1:So introduce who we have in the room with us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Great friend of mine. I've known Duke Christopher Duke. I've known Duke for several years and we met through a mutual friend. But I'm going to leave some of the details to Christopher. Let him tell, kind of the beginning and I'll jump in and ask a couple of questions. And, of course, if you want to ask, you know some questions too you're always welcome to so. I've got one or two waiting. Duke, tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 3:Welcome Duke. Yeah, then we'll go from there. Yeah, the truth is you veteran bumper sticker.
Speaker 2:That's what it was. He's like crap. Our guy canceled, hey I lost my show notes.
Speaker 3:You want to come in to do a show with us? Uh, yeah, so, uh, yeah, my name is uh christopher duke. I usually go by duke, and for several reasons. One, uh, because I am a veteran. I spent a lot of time in the army and then I spent uh six years in the fire service and so we went by last names a lot there. But there's also always more ch's around so it gets confusing, and so Duke is uh much more rare.
Speaker 2:So as long as I've known you. I just now learned you were in the fire service. Yeah, yeah, I always thought the connection was just a veteran piece. Yeah, that's kind of cool, so you can relate to those guys in the in the peer group at night.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, it's okay. Firefighter for six years five years in one department.
Speaker 2:Sorry about that squirrel. Go ahead and finish. I heard that part. I'm like wait a minute, Okay.
Speaker 3:So uh, yeah, Plus Duke just sounds way cooler.
Speaker 2:Cooler yeah Than Chris. Ladies and gentlemen, duke, no offense to all you fellow Chris's though.
Speaker 1:Chris moving right along, so uh. So what brings Duke into into the room with us today?
Speaker 3:I love Duke story, so when I first met Duke and I'll let you share that- part, but Duke was kind of at a would you say a low point in your life.
Speaker 2:Probably the lowest was the lowest met him at a a pretty low point in his life. We, we got involved and instantly there was that. I don't know if it's just a veteran piece or or what, what, but just had that connection between where he is and was and what I was doing and we kind of hit it off from there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I remember our first meeting was uh, you know, I had at the time I was, I owned a house washing business, uh, soft wash business, which you know you can wash the roof in the house, all these things. It was very unique in the area at the time and so I was part of this small business networking group and another member of that group, who was a therapist, was part of the Eden project, had connection to the Eden project. He found that he realized I was a veteran and what I was trying to do with my business, and even though I was in like the lowest point of my life, I was still really working hard to try to help others because I felt like I had a lot to offer. And so I was. Even though it was a soft wash company, I was trying to build it in a way to serve others.
Speaker 3:The goal was it? The goal was to only hire combat infantry veterans. The name of the company was Blue Cord Soft Wash veterans. The name of the company was Blue Cord Soft Wash and, for those of you who aren't familiar, in the army infantrymen wear a blue cord on the right shoulder in the dress uniform to signify the difference between infantrymen and everybody else. And so my goal was to, because at that point I'd spent so many years unemployed or underemployed and being told things like oh, like I remember I got turned down for a job at a warehouse for a beverage company because they said I didn't have any experience. I'm like well, in the army that's, all you do is inventory, like what do?
Speaker 1:you?
Speaker 3:yeah, I've got all the experience uh, but uh, yeah, so, um, I had started that, that, that, and, as a matter of fact, there was one job in particular that I know for a fact that I was told that, uh told that when the hiring manager mentioned me getting hired there, some of the employees were like, oh you know, he's probably crazy, he's probably got PTSD, he's going to come in and shoot us all, and so, like it was, that fueled me to start Blue Court Soft Wash, and the goal was to hire nothing but combat infantry veterans and succeed at it, not only despite having combat infantry veteran employees, but because of the combat infantry veterans, and succeed at it, not only despite having combat infantry veteran employees, but because of the combat veteran employees, because I know what we bring to the table.
Speaker 3:But I wanted to take it a step further and I wanted to take it into a mentorship for at risk youth, which is my other passion, because, you know, like a lot of veterans, my struggles started long before the military, and so I had a passion for wanting to help at-risk youth, particularly young boys, and so the idea was to start a mentorship within the business.
Speaker 3:The infantrymen would be full-time employees, the kids would come through, have like a one-year time with us and then put the veterans through a mentorship training and kind of grow it through there, and that way the kid could leave with a year's work experience, a letter of recommendation and all these things. So, even though I was extremely struggling myself, I think like a lot of people, I was looking to find my wellness through helping others, which now I know is not how you find wellness. It feels good, it helps you feel better, but until you address the root of your problems you can help everybody on the earth. If you don't help yourself, then you're just kind of, you know you're putting a bandaid on it.
Speaker 2:Like that expression pouring from an empty cup. You were you're trying to give as much as you can to other people, but you had nothing internally to give to anybody. Right, yeah, yeah. So great plan though.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and so that's how we met and then and then when you and I came uh had our first uh meeting, we sat and I remember we talked about just some ideas. You know, farming being my other passion and I, you know, a side project, for my business is eventually I wanted to get a farm and maybe start like uh teaching veterans to farm and things like that, and then you had been gifted some land I had forgotten about that, yeah, we sat and we got so like we were both, you were like I can't believe it.
Speaker 3:And then you were like, well, how much land would you need for that? And I was like I probably could do a pretty good job of like 40 acres. You're like, you're not gonna believe this right, right, but 40 acres, let's just donate. So, uh yeah, we, just we, we really hit it off because we had a lot of really good mutual ideas and I think our minds just worked really well together, wow.
Speaker 2:Um. So from there did it get better, worse, the same. I mean, that was how many years ago, seven years ago, oh no, no, that was uh 20.
Speaker 3:Matter of fact, covid shut that business down for me, so it was 2019 okay, so so it feels like five years ago? No, definitely, like definitely not that like because like to me, 2020 is still like yesterday years ago last year.
Speaker 3:But yeah, yeah, so I guess I guess about five years ago. But to answer your question, did it get better or worse? There's no. Well, I don't want to say there's no such thing as better or worse. It's, it's, but there, but it's not a linear. Wellness is not a linear journey. That's one thing I've learned for sure. Okay Is so Okay. So there have been times since then where things have been absolutely amazing, and there have been, you know, where things have been flowing, and there have been times where things have been ebbing, but I will definitely say that since then I've most definitely learned to make my ebbs far shorter.
Speaker 2:Yep, you know. So you went from the blue cord and then you did start another working someplace else. That was kind of cool.
Speaker 3:I did as a matter of fact, uh, through our relationship, the two of us, I uh, so I started going through my second divorce. I was standing in my garage one day and I was. I was like you know what, and at the time I was 38 years old, I think, and and or I was about I was going to be 38, and I thought, man, I'm going to be 38 soon. And then I thought, well, damn, 38 is so close to 40. And then I thought, well, 40 is halfway dead. And I decided right then, in that moment, I said I cannot live the second half of my life the same way I lived my first. And so I started taking stock of what I would need to do, or at least what I thought at the time I would need to do, because I didn't know anything about wellness at the time or wellness practices or anything. And so I realized at that time that my wife at the time, who I loved very, very much, I realized at that moment that, unfortunately, if we can't get things together, if I'm going to live the life that I want to live, then that's a relationship that's going to have to come to an end, and sadly, it did not long after that and that was incredibly hard for me.
Speaker 3:You know, like I said, my struggle started in childhood, just like most veterans. I think a lot of us join the military we want to say we're patriots and this and that, but I think a lot of it is more personal than that. A lot of us join the military looking for what we never had in family and connection and brotherhood and things like that. So I had a lot of neglect and abandonment throughout my life. So whenever that relationship ended, that was it. I was done at that point, Like I was. That was the final straw and at the time I still did social media and I posted uh, I made a post, a Facebook post, that just said I'm tired. That was it.
Speaker 2:I remember that post, yeah, and then you I didn't know it was during that time, but I do remember that post.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. And then you contacted me and said it was January 2020. You said can you? You said you, all right, and I said I've been better. And you said can you get away for a week? And I said actually, yeah, business is really slow right now. You said there's a program that I started to self-sabotage and said, you know, screw this, I don't need people At the time.
Speaker 3:I had some acreage and my house was a dead center of the acreage and I could go days and days without seeing people, which was part of my problem at that time, right, because I was deeply isolated, which is kind of normal for vets in the veteran community.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so for vets in the veteran community.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and so I'd convinced myself I didn't need anybody. And so I reached out to their outreach person and said hey, if I cancel my slot, can somebody else take it? And she said no, you're three days out. If you cancel, you just burn the slot and again, even in my darkest times, I wanted better for others, because I wanted others to have better than what I had. And so in my mind I thought you know, screw this program, but I can't burn a slot like that, because if I don't be screwing another vet exactly.
Speaker 3:Somebody else maybe could have gone to that slot and it would have saved their life. So I can't just burn it for nothing, and so I ended up going, and that completely changed the trajectory of my life.
Speaker 2:So there's some great programs out there. There's some okay programs, there's some not so okay programs, but that to me, is one of the best programs for combat vets. It's a week away. It's drinking from a fire hose. I mean, it's a ton of material, but warrior path, I think, is one that absolutely changes lives and and and saves lives.
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely, and I'll tell you this too, man and and this may be a controversial thing, I don't know but one thing that I in in my, you know, I spent a lot of time in introspection and thinking about, you know, wellness and just human beings and human nature and mindset and all these things, and I personally believe that men and women are different. We're made different for different reasons. Yeah, believe it or not, we're made different. We're made different for different reasons, and so what is good for what's helpful for a woman to me, in my opinion, is not helpful for a, a man, and it took me a long time to realize that, and I think that's one of the big problems with mental health is we're trying to apply feminine approaches to masculinity and it doesn't work. And one of the things that I loved, that I loved so much about warrior path is it is because, you know, men operate more from a place of logic. I was wondering where he was going with that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, so.
Speaker 3:So, men, as men, we operate from a place of logic, and so with Warrior Path and the way it's set up and its teachings, it's very matter-of-fact and very like let's get real, let's take the kid gloves off and let's be honest, let's be real with each other. And so I think that Warrior Path is extremely beneficial for anyone, anybody who needs a shift in mindset, but specifically for the male combat veteran or first responder.
Speaker 2:What you just said made me think. When I went through PATH, one of my guides was a guy named Dusty. Did you know Dusty?
Speaker 3:I didn't.
Speaker 2:I've heard many stories, so I love Dusty, he was exactly like you're talking about. He was a Vietnam vet, but he didn't let you BS and you can probably relate to this because of our similar experiences. I got used to telling people what I thought they wanted to hear not what was real, what I really was feeling or what was going on inside.
Speaker 2:But I got used to someone saying, hey, how are you doing? They don't want to hear the truth, they want to hear, yeah, I'm fine. So they can just move on and say hey, I talked to him and he said he's fine, dusty didn't play that game, so I spit out whatever I said, that generic, I'm doing fine, yeah, things are good. And Dusty's not some little guy, dusty's this big mountain of anatomy, at least in my head. He was this powerful guy. He got in my face and said stuck his finger in my face, bs. So I said something again and he got closer and he used that word again. He said BS. And that's when, for me, that's when my shift happened, because I got out of the. Let me tell people what they want to hear and and identify myself what really was happening. That was my experience with path and why I felt like path was so, so powerful.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, so, uh, well, I went to that, that program and I mean, like I said, I was at my wits end. Like I was, I was done. If path didn't work, I, uh, I had every intention of sending it yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:So, uh, I get there and and we get to the intros on the first day and they're like, you know, say your name, where you're from, this and that, and I was like my name's duke and I'm like I literally broke down just saying my own name, broke down. I was so, I was so in need and and just throughout the course of the week, you know, I told my story and you know, at the time again, I was running that business, you know, trying to help veterans and the youth and things like that, and that organization saw that, that drive to help others in me, uh, and, and you know, and some other things, and, and so, after having, and at the time, warrior path was 18 months long now it's three months long, but it was. You go there for one week and then it was 18 months online after that of different courses or whatever, um, and, and so they waited for me. They waited about three months to see if I was going to stick with it or not, because they can track your progress online and uh, and so, after a few months of sticking with it, they uh, the program director over at over at that at that warrior path, uh, his name's mike, mike hilliard actually. He's amazing, amazing dude. And so he's actually now a program director at at a warrior path, that for boulder crest.
Speaker 3:Now he's no longer with the, the same organization, but uh, he reached out to me and said hey, dude, we got this position coming, or no? First he said, hey, do you, would you be interested in being a, a contracted path guide? And I thought, absolutely, like I've wanted to work with veterans for so long. It kind of helped, goes hand in hand with my business, it would give me some income on the side while my business grows. But then before I could even start, covid happened and so then they shut down and so they got put on hold.
Speaker 3:But then, not long after that, he reached back out again and said hey, since we've been shut down, we've had some looking at the budget and this and that, and we have the funds to hire a full-time warrior path outreach personnel. Is that something you'd be interested in? And I said absolutely. And so you know that kind of conversation went on and as covid drug on, uh, which it didn't drag on too long because they you know it shut down in march and by july they were back up and running, or june they were back up and running. But he asked if I'd be interested and I said yeah, so. But then he was like, and it got to the point where he was like this is your job, it's you, you're the man for it, you, you pretty much got it. We're just waiting to get started back up again.
Speaker 3:I was like all right, that's awesome. Well then he got. I got a phone call from him one day and he said hey, man, uh, we decided to hire somebody else for that position. Wow, but for the very first time. I mean, I've always been a like emotionally, like a lot of people driven by my emotions, like you know, feel an emotion and let it run wild. And so, uh, and, and for the first time in my life, I didn't get upset, I didn't get, I just kind of snickered and was like okay, like, but whatever. Yeah, but in my mind something told me something bigger is coming. It's fine, this isn't for you?
Speaker 2:Was that because of tools and practices you learned?
Speaker 3:Yeah, cause I had started learning emotional regulation yeah, and I wasn't living my life through my emotions anymore, right, so he's like. But you know, we have another position coming open for a program director for our other program and I think you should put your resume in. And in my mind I was thinking whatever, dude, I didn't even get the job that you told me was right, well, I put my resume into a higher position?
Speaker 3:yeah, so, but I did anyway and uh, and sure enough, I ended up getting it and for three and a half years I was a program director for a whole other wellness retreat that served combat veterans and their their support person typically as a spouse, but it could be anybody. Yeah, when I took over that program, man, I'm gonna be honest with you, it it wasn't, there wasn't a lot of heart in it, it was just one of those check the block programs. Like you said earlier. Some are, some are great, some not so great. That program as a, as a, the skeleton of that program, was great, but there was no meat on the bones whatsoever the intent of the program was fantastic great idea.
Speaker 3:Uh, no, lacked it, lacked the heart that it needed, and so I took over that program and we went from uh in my time there. It went from them literally trying to fill a retreat the day of a retreat to we got to a point where it was getting filled a month out.
Speaker 2:That's fantastic yeah.
Speaker 3:And not only so. Word of mouth was traveling so well, and it wasn't just through veterans. I mean, I would send out, like our quarterly retreat list to different mental health professionals and almost every time I sent it out I would get you know another email from another professional said hey, I got this flyer from a cohort. How do I get on your distro list, smart? So so, yeah, it was. It was growing exponentially and yeah, I did that for about three and a half years.
Speaker 2:Cool. So then that kind of came to an end and you decided to go to school.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so, yeah, that that that time there came to an end and I had reached a point where I had taken it as far as I was going to be able to take it, given the support that I was getting. It was very unfortunate because, again, I was very successful with it. It took a whole staff turnover and everything, but it got to the point where every single month I was getting phone calls or text messages or people just coming up to me at retreat saying your story saved my life. Something you said saved my life, what the, the camaraderie your staff has. You can tell that you guys love each other and love us.
Speaker 3:And uh, and it turned to an incredible thing and so, as you would imagine, losing that, we talked, you know, a bit ago about, about, uh, about ebbs and flows, and you asked me things are great now, you know, and I and I said there have been times I've been up and times I've been down. As you would imagine, after losing that, things got really down again. I didn't realize how much of my own worth and identity was tied up in helping others. And that's kind of going back to what I was saying earlier about you can help.
Speaker 2:So you still weren't healthy, but you were helping other folks, not fully. Yeah, what I was saying earlier about you can.
Speaker 3:You still weren't healthy, but you were helping other folks not fully, yeah, and I think as part of the reason, I think being thrown into that was both a help and a hindrance, like it helped me in a sense that I was at retreats every single month and so I stayed in that wellness community and I had no choice but to because and people relied on me, so I took it very seriously. But on the same token, I started it only a few months into my own wellness journey. So my entire time I was focusing on other people, that my focus was trying to help. I still did things for myself.
Speaker 3:I still did wellness practices and all these things to bring myself up and shift my mindset and all that stuff. But whenever you're the one leading something like that, it's like you feel like you expect everybody, everybody expects you to have it together and so you bury a lot of your own stuff because you don't. You don't want other people to feel like, oh, I can't follow this guy because he struggles too.
Speaker 2:So you threw something out there and I want to. I don't want to let that go past, Cause I think that's probably the biggest gold nugget of everything you've said so far you are still working on yourself, but helping other folks.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, what I've what I've heard, seen and experienced with other vets is they think they've got to be perfect before they can start helping somebody else. They think they've got to be at a certain place and you don't. When I taught a program like that, I'm really careful not to tell my story. But for whatever reason, at this one point I was kind of in my zone and I told my story and there was a Marine in front of me and he was getting real antsy and real jittery and I thought, oh crap, I just triggered something with him. This isn't going to go well. So it was break time, we took a break and he and his wife came up and he still was all is beklempt a real word, we're going to use it as if it is so. He was all, he couldn't talk about it, kind of teary a little bit. She said that is his story too.
Speaker 2:So I'm saying this because I want vets to understand, and first responders to understand, that we may not be comfortable telling our story, but telling it is may help somebody else or may help that next person. It does two things it helps them because they realize, you know, like Brene Brown says, that shame can only survive in the dark and when you get it out, when you get it out, you you realized that wait a minute, they didn't think I was deterred, that I think I am, so that goes away. But it also has the ability to help somebody else come out of their darkness and their shame. So I didn't want to let that little piece kind of slide by, because that's such a powerful comment that, yes, you can tell your story. You don't have to live in the past and don't have to live in what that story is or was, but being able to share it in a way that is productive and helpful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know and we've talked about this in the past the thing you know we're not created or designed to be alone and in solitude. That's why, when you talked about being away and maybe being out around people, that's the best thing for trust me as a guy who's clinically depressed for diagnosed long time ago.
Speaker 1:That was one of the issues. You needed to be out and be around people. But then the other thing is is that sharing your story unless you're walking around going? Hey, let me talk about me, right, you know you're not boasting and trying to brag and all that. But if you're doing it in a situation like, uh, at these functions or, you know, like me a few weeks ago doing that, it helps people realize that they're not alone and they can relate to that and say you know what?
Speaker 2:that's me too. Let's talk.
Speaker 1:And now you got a new friend and you brought light into their life and that's, you know, that's beautiful yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's, so, that's then.
Speaker 3:Well, well, now you guys are getting me on my, on my soapbox, and I don't, uh, don't want to, you know, I guess take too much time on it, but these are the things that I'm passionate talking about, but that's one of the things that made. One of the ways I was able to make that program so powerful is because I shared.
Speaker 3:I started so when, I took over that program, they would go straight into Thursday night, after people had been traveling all day, and start teaching post-traumatic growth. I'm like why on earth would you do that? These people aren't primed for it yet. They've been traveling all day. They don't even know what they're here for yet. So what I started doing was I started sharing my story and that's what started making that. One of the things that made that program so powerful is because it makes you Because you got to share you yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, it also makes people realize I'm not alone.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:And also now here's this guy who is doing better. And I was very open in my program hey, I'm not, it's not linear, yeah, but but it helped people say, realize, if he can do it, I can do it. And I used to have facilitators who would say like, oh, it's so frustrating because I can be sitting here trying to drive a point home, and then you come, you can come in and say it one time and all of a sudden it's the gospel.
Speaker 1:I was like, well, that's because they, they. I'm a peer like they know that I didn't just read this stuff in a book.
Speaker 3:I've lived it, and so sharing your story is incredibly powerful.
Speaker 2:It's a great way to make the connection so they can, you know, the walls come down and they can. They can see that you're a real person, they're a real person and connect with you. Know, I hate to say, misery loves company, but you're able to have that, that connection, and then they can grow out of that because they've seen you grow out of it. So like hey, he did it, I can do it too. But let's move ahead to where we are now. You went to school, which was what so I was looking for.
Speaker 3:One thing I absolutely fell in love with was wellness and helping people feel better. But when you're doing that on a mental health standpoint or from a mental health perspective, that can get extremely draining on you too, cause there's your. You're carrying all this stuff with you. Energy is a very powerful thing. Whenever you absorb other people's traumatic injury or, excuse me, in energy, it can get very draining.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like I used to come home and just crash on the couch for two days. I was whooped. So I was wanting to find a way that I could continue in wellness but not be so draining on myself and also give me some autonomy over my own life. And so I was actually sitting there one day and got an email from a massage school, a local massage school, and I was like how I don't even know how in the heck I got on their distro list. It just showed up and it was like something just screamed at me that's it, that that's how you do it.
Speaker 3:And so I went to massage school, and which was about nine months long, and it was right around that time that myself and the organization I was working for parted ways. And so I decided you know what? I was not in the best situation, to be honest with you, because at that point, for for so many reasons we don't have time to go into right now I'd it ended up leaving me living with my parents at 40 years old, unemployed you know who simon cowell is, don't you?
Speaker 2:yeah do you know he was living in his basement right before you know he became the the guy that we know now. Oh, I did not. He was in his parents basement too.
Speaker 3:Nice, yeah, good company then, yeah uh, I keep, I keep thinking that, given that all the movie studios and TV studios around here, I'm just going to get approached at any moment and ask to be in something, but you can't be on that, on that little Island that you were in before.
Speaker 2:So being where we are now is a perfect place to, to, to.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So I decided that you know what I'm not, and and and while it was, while it was very difficult for me to adjust to a new lifestyle of not helping people on a daily basis and not feeling that value and that worth from that whenever we parted ways, it wasn't a hard thing for me to go through. I was fine with it because I think at that point I realized it was time for me to move on.
Speaker 2:And so I accepted it. We all have seasons, and that season's over. You move to a new season.
Speaker 3:Right and through the work that I've been putting into myself over the years, it took me from a place where that would have completely destroyed me and made me feel worthless to. Okay, let's see what this is about. This is just. This isn't the end.
Speaker 3:This is me going to the incubator for a while, and so yeah, and so that's what I've been doing, and I just recently graduated from there, and so now I'm in the process of trying to grow a business. I think I'm going to end up having to actually have an interview tomorrow with a local spa that I'm going to probably have to get in there for a little while until I get my feet under me, because I needed to start making money, like yesterday.
Speaker 2:But the fact, what I think is really cool. And tell me you're an entrepreneur, michael. What really cool? And tell me what you're an entrepreneur.
Speaker 2:Michael, you went from holy crap, life sucks. To hey, I found some new tools and how to help myself to at least being optimistic and looking at the future, saying, man, I got things that I can do. I can either start my own business and be an independent massage therapist. I can work under or with somebody else during that time. I mean, that's way different than it was when we first met, where I have no future, I can't see anything going on. Now you've got a few things that you, you know, a couple of different directions. That's pretty awesome.
Speaker 1:So, duke, you're kind of in that position where you're still looking for your next thing, right is that? Where that's safe to say yep okay and you said something off mike. I want you to say it again that that you just talked about, about the wellness in your journey that you so far. Tell me that again yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:well, I mean, we were talking about the fact that, uh, you know, it would be great to sit here and tell everybody that you know, I've overcome it. And then I started this business and I have this you know, great everything, and everything is great and everything's going, yeah, yeah, but it's just not the case. And so what I'd say was that that wellness isn't always about like accomplishing or achieving or being there, so to speak. You know it's. It's about the mindset you have towards your current situation, regardless, regardless of what that is Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and there's a obvious this is a well-known fact that it's you know, attitude and accomplishments and all of these different things all relate to how you handle certain things. It's you know, it's 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you respond to it. And you can get into a situation, if you're clinically depressed, if you've had a lot of bad things happen in your life, where all of a sudden everything's just negative and some little tiny thing could be tiny to some people and they brush it off where other people, it's the end of the world, you know and so, and that's everything, that's and I will say that in terms as far as wellness goes the single most life-changing thing for me in terms of wellness wasn't you know, it wasn't therapy, it wasn't all these other things.
Speaker 3:Now, human, now, connection with others is, in my opinion, the single most important thing in life. But, uh, but there's a quote from the book uh, the obstacle is the way, by Ryan. Holiday is one of my favorite quotes and it is um, and, and I may get an awful word or two, but for, but, for the most part it is. It is uh, there is no good or bad without us. There's only perception. There's the event itself and the story we tell ourselves about that event. And the reason that is so important is because our bodies are nothing but one giant chemical plant.
Speaker 3:Every emotion that you feel is based on a chemical that your brain releases. Your brain releases that chemical based on the story you tell yourself about what's going on around you. In that time, if something happens and you tell yourself, oh, this is terrible, my life is over, I'm so sad, your brain is going to go, oh, that's the chemical you need right now Dump, dump, dump, dump, dump. And then you get caught in this depressive cycle, or maybe it's anger, or maybe whatever it is, and so the story you tell yourself about every situation and every single thing that happens to you in your life is going to dictate your mood. The outside world doesn't dictate your mood, it's the story you tell yourself about that event. Like I could easily sit here and tell myself I'm still a 41 on your 41 year old, unemployed man living in his mom's house, who's who doesn't have anything.
Speaker 3:But I choose to tell myself, yeah, that's the case, but it's not the end. Like I'm right, I know I'm on the brink of succeeding at a lot of things, and so it's because I choose that mindset that I'm able to stay positive.
Speaker 2:Man, we could make a whole show on that, couldn't we?
Speaker 1:So if you would like to date him today, he's on the way up everybody. Hey, man, we're so glad that you took some time to come here and be with us on the show today. I really appreciate that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, man, I appreciate you guys having me. This has been incredible Again, talking about things that are beneficial wellness-wise is talking about wellness. Having conversations with people about wellness, and that in itself will put you in a more positive mindset. So I feel every day is different. Today I did wake up feeling a little rough, but now I feel like a million bucks, just because we have this conversation, so thank you for having me very much.
Speaker 1:Oh, he's going to buy his coffee now.
Speaker 2:Well, I appreciate you coming into. I know, you know we we were just talking last night, we talked last last week, um, and I've seen the up and down, I've seen the past few weeks, the up and down with you, but I'm so excited that you identified something I think is super, super important. It's not the event, it's your attitude, your mindset about the event. We talk about that so often in our program, we talk about it on here. That it's what we do and I'm glad you were able to kind of tie things together and end this particular show on that note, because I think that's such a powerful, such a powerful concept.
Speaker 1:Yeah, very much so. So if you listening uh got something out of the episode today and you want to reach out and talk to us, or if you have questions, or maybe you can say hey, that's my life too, you can reach out to us. Eden-projectcom. That dash is very important, as we learned from the beginning of the show. Eden-projectcom. Or you can call us.
Speaker 2:That's right, and I guess that's my cue to come up with a phone number so you can call us at 678-632-5383. And you can call. You can text. Some people prefer to text. If you want to, if you know some people prefer to text, If you want to leave a text, you can do that too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you call, make sure it's a regular, normal waking hours.
Speaker 2:And we'll answer you, but we won't answer you right away if it's after five. Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 3:I would also also uh, why, when you get done looking up Eden Dash Project, uh, if dash project, uh, if you are in the fayette county, georgia area and you are in need of the most fantastic mobile massage you've ever received, I thought he was gonna talk about our program. What a, what a switch that was, uh my business is up and running, uh, right now. So, uh, the the website for that that my business is called, inso therapeutic massage.
Speaker 1:It's also on our website so, uh and and again, please share this information, share our episodes, anything about the Eden Project and the After Action Report. Share with your social media, your friends, your family. Get the word out so we can continue to grow and do more things for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we can reach to people like Duke Wesson. You know, sometimes sharing that story and just connecting with one other person can make all the difference in someone's life, exactly.
Speaker 1:So thank you so much for tuning in today. Until we meet again, be well.